(( no one will cry over me ))

[Bast]

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[atrb=background,http://i54.tinypic.com/2qxq1kk.png] THERE was something calming about knowing that she wasn't the only cat to ever think of abandoning the clans. The way everyone treated it, being born into a clan was a privalige, a grace from StarClan. Maybe it was to them, but to outcasts like Willowleaf, it was a budran. She stayed because she felt she ahd to, to make her ancestors proud of her. If she stayed, she would be close to her siblings. She knew where each was buried, even her parents. That should be important more than anything. Her unhappiness shouldn't be that big of a deal. Not all cats were happy all the time, right? This had to be temporary. She'd entertain the thoughts of leaving and then shed them like a snake sheded its old skin, she'd grow a new skin and continue on with her life. She'd rear cubs as was expected and fight in battles, she'd patrol the borders and try her paw at hunting time and time again. Just thinking about it all and the monotony of it nearly made her groan in exhaustion. "IF I had anything to say about it, Tigerclan would welcome you." WILLOWLEAF'S head shot up and whirled around to stare at Dragonstar so fast she was surprised her head stayed on her shoulders. Blue eyes went wide as her brain processed the implication in Dragonstar's words. She counted him as a friend but to hear him openly say he'd welcome her to TigerClan, it was like being struck by lightning, like the sun going black in the middle of the day or the moon shining green. It was absolutely unheard of. Never in her life had she heard of a cat from any clan leaving their born clan and going to another. She knew of loners and rogues joining clans, it happened every few seasons or so, and she'd once heard an elder tell her of a tiger kit raised in LionClan but the kit hadn't stayed. Its loner blood had called it away when it was nearly a warrior's age and it had left known only as Stripedpaw and the tiger had never gone to a gathering. The elder had told Willowleaf that no one in LionClan really wanted to show the clans, they thought it a disgrace, or something that needed to be hidden. AFTER all, who ever heard of a tiger living amongst lions? For that matter, who'd ever heard of a lion living amongst tigers? AT once Willowleaf opened her mouth to tell Dragonstar that his offer was gracious but unnecessary, merely from the oddness of it all, but for some reasons the words got stuck in her throat. She thought about it, being close to the one cat that seemed to understand her, being there with his permission, his clan forced to allow it. It almost sounded...nice...Until her mind turned to the obvious. Then she would be a rare white lioness living amongst tigers. It was foolishness! They'd never accept her regardless of whatever Dragonstar ordered. He wouldn't be there all the time either, who knows what they would do? She'd always heard tigers were cunning and aggressive, surely it would be the end of her! Then she would truly be alone, isolated in unfamiliar territories full of jungle with no savannas. There would be no familiar faces or scents, only the isolation and the occasion of Dragonstar's company...The very thought of it made Willowleaf's heart ache, though she wasn't sure why. WAS it because she would be near him or because for the first time in her life she'd truly be alone? "DRAGONSTAR..." Willowleaf started gently, "you know that would only be a disaster. No one's ever done it, and no clan would accept it. I would always be a traitor and an outcast to everyone but you..." WHAT a lonely existance indeed. Willowleaf knew without a doubt it would kill her. If he asked her again though...gave her a reason to go, she just might do it...if it would make him happy. Tagged;; Dragonstar Word Count;; 672 Background Song;; "Abracadabra" by the Steve Miller Band Notes;; <3

[crush]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/30vyq83.jpg] [scrolly:h(166),w(275),sy] His head raised slowly after hers shot up, watching her, reading her reaction as thoroughly as she seemed to read his most the time. He didn't rush her attempt to speak; he'd let her get her words out first, he was polite enough for that. His tail tip finally drifted away to the ground, though it still rested near her side even if it didn't touch. Finally, her words came out, speaking sense as she always seemed to. And she was right, of course. No one had ever done it, or if they had others had never known. But she was wrong on one account; to tigerclan, she would not be a traitor. Not if she was introduced right. By those with more personal grudges against the lions, the ones who had had family killed in battle skirmishes with them, she might even be revered as a battle won, that the tigers were superior enough to draw over even a lion. He knew the more independent nature of tigers all on its own would help her fit in, but he said nothing of that to her. And what of the first clan to take in a rogue or loner? Surely they were looked down upon and scorned, but look at us now. I'm living proof that things change, Willowleaf. Things change as long as you wish for it hard enough. He looked up at the sky a moment, doing what had become habit at the gatherings that got a bit more violent;; watching for a shift in the clouds, in the sky. But the sun stayed clear and the skies completely cloudless. If starclan disapproved, they did not do so to the point of showing their disapproval. And they would show him... right? After all, he was a leader. It had been his knowledge that they sent signs to both medicine cats and leaders, and he doubted it would be something so obscure that he'd never spot it, not on such an unapproved topic. He glanced back down, though, just nudging her shoulder gently before laying his head back down on his paws. I'm not saying if you leave you'd have to come to tigerclan. Just... just that if you wanted to, or if you wanted to stay in touch, or something, this meeting place, it wouldn't have to change, and that you'd have someone to turn to. He didn't mention he'd probably never really leave her side except for gatherings. He had no other friends, and although he joined border or hunting patrols occasionally, he was always the one who was left out of the conversations. Not to mention, she'd need someone to show her the tricks of hunting in the forest. He could do that. He'd already started, after all. It wouldn't be a big deal to continue, she already knew most of the hunting basics from her apprenticeship. But he said none of this. It was her choice, and if she showed up one day and said she wanted into his clan, he'd accept her and tell her then. But, until that moment came, if it ever did, there was no point pushing the issue. He wouldn't make up her mind for her; she had to do that on her own, or she'd never be happy. [/scrolly]

[Bast]

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[atrb=background,http://i54.tinypic.com/2qxq1kk.png] INDECISION warred within Willowleaf's mind. She knew LionClan wasn't going to be her future forever. She refused to die a crippled elder wasting away in the back of a den, forgotten by her clan or a novelty because she was the only white lion in the clan. No. That would not be her life. To be a loner, it would be difficult. Lions were a social species, even though Willowleaf had forced herself to be more independent. She had done it from necessity, not desire. At one time, she'd been plenty social when she'd had four siblings to constantly push her out of her comfort zone and stand beside her through it all. Once they had left...she'd never felt so alone. Sunstreak and Falconeye, they died as well, one brought down in battle and the other by a cruel winter's bout of greencough. Amongst her own clan she was alone. Surely the life of a loner couldn't be any worse? SHE could find her own little portion of savanna or plains somewhere in the south and make it her own. Maybe she would find others and build a clan? No, it would not happen. It was simply not meant to be. Willowleaf, she knew she wasn't a leader in any fashion. She was compassionate and quiet but far from one to make life or death decisions. No. If she went, she would be alone for life. The thought of it chilled her to the bone. Without thinking she shifted, her pale pelt brushing against Dragonstar's black stripes. TURNING her head to look at where their pelts touched, she tracked the path of his stripes, noted the purity of his white pelt, watched his flanks move as he breathed. This close together, one could see the palest blonde that kissed Willowleaf's pelt, washed white by the sun but in shadow showing a touch of gold. For some reason, seeing it brought a soft smile to Willowleaf's maw before she could stop it. Her baby blue eyes were soft and distant as she saw a future in her mind that could never be. "YOU know what they would say, the same they said of my mother that drove me from the gatherings," Willowleaf murmured. "They said she bedded a white tiger when she had her kits. It shamed my father so much so he never looked at us with a smile but mother loved us but the scorn, it killed her in the end, the loneliness it caused. Both clans would just say I was a prize, kept for the novelty of it." SIGHING heavily at the difficult decisions, Willowleaf lowered her head, resting her chin on her foreleg but her nose barely brushing Dragonstar's striped pelt. Tagged;; Dragonstar Word Count;; 455 Background Song;; "Never Gone" by the Backstreet Boys Notes;; ah, young love <3 i see tigon kits in the future of this site XD

[crush]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/30vyq83.jpg] [scrolly:h(166),w(275),sy] Although we know it is just a rumor, it would be one that would give them no choice but to accept you, at least in part. For, if they believed the rumor that would mean you belonged in tigerclan just as much as lionclan. He murmured softly before he event really thought about it. There was truth to his words, though. If they claimed she was half-blood, they would be faced with the possibility that she did indeed belong with them. If it took him pointing that out to them to make them stop saying the words that shamed her mother, and thus her, he would do it. He let his weight shift, their sides ever so slightly closer now as he let his eyes close, chuffing softly, a reminder that he was there now, and he always would be, no matter what her choice. She deserved to be happy, as all did. If that meant her leaving and going off as a loner, he would not stop her. He hoped she'd visit, of course, but he couldn't bring himself to actually say so. His eyes opened again, head moving closer, nestling his nose against the edge of her cheek, eyes closing again with a soft, content sigh. He stayed that way a moment before instinct that hadn't been there until she'd nearly drowned grabbed hold and his tongue flashed out to clean her pelt, an attempt to lick the stains of blood off while giving him something to do. It was only then words slipped out again. Just make sure you leave some sign you're alright now and then, if you do leave. The rest is your choice. [/scrolly]

[Bast]

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[atrb=background,http://i54.tinypic.com/2qxq1kk.png] A heavy sigh pulled itself from Willowleaf as she laid next to Dragonstar. She closed her eyes and tried to think. Sunstreak had always told her someday she'd find happiness, whether it be as a warrior of LionClan or by falling in love with someone and finding out life wasn't so bad. Sunstreak had wanted only the best for her daughters and only son. She could remember them well and she missed them. The old ache throbbed in Willowleaf's heart as she thought of the only ones that had ever had a face like hers. Clawpaw, Brookstream, Flywing and Leapheart. They'd once been her strength, her rock, her steady companions. All dead. She wished one of them would come to life and tell her what to do, what the right choice was. BROOKSTREAM had been so sweet and smart, eyes always glowing with perpetual happiness no matter the clan's taunts. Willowleaf clearly remembered her sister's bloody death, dead in the midst of birthing two kits. The kits had gone unnamed but they had been normal, not shockingly pale. Willowleaf hoped her sister was with them in StarClan. CLAWPAW had been so bold and brash, he'd brawled with warriors and apprentices alike. Anyone that insulted his family met his claws and saw the fire light in his eyes. He'd died with Flywing, hunting and getting caught in a flood several seasons ago. FLYWING herself had been a spirited, energetic she-cat. Willowleaf had no doubt she would have made a fantastic deputy, she had had the ambition for it without a doubt. Blackstar wouldn't have been able to say no. She'd been sensible but sweet, always smiling... LEAPHEART, oh she'd been worse than Flywing. There had been no keeping her still and Willowleaf had always envied her energy. She'd been slain in a border scuffle, her energy snuffed with seemingly foolish ease by some unknown rogue. It just wasn't right...they were all gone. Now Willowelaf was alone and she felt it now more than ever. She wanted one of them to tell her it was okay to feel this way, that it was okay to want to follow Dragonstar, that it was okay to want to leave. TURNING her head, she pressed her nsse into Dragonstar's striped fur, eyes closed and miserable. "Nothing seems like the right decision," she murmured, feeling Dragonstar's tongue rasp over her cheek and head. It was a soothing sensation, one that mildly surprised her. She had never thought he would initiate such intimate contact...but then again, the TigerClan leader was full of surprises. "I just miss when I could look at someone and see someone like me...I miss my siblings...they understood but they were so much stronger than I was...it shouldn't have been them that died...Clawpaw would have been a leader, Brookstream and her kits...Leapheart and Flywing should still be bickering in camp...nothing is right..." Tagged;; Dragonstar Word Count;; 479 Background Song;; "Girl Can't Help It" by Journey Notes;; poor willow -petpet-

[crush]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/30vyq83.jpg] [scrolly:h(166),w(275),sy] Noticing it was helping, at least a little, he kept up his licking, eyes closed though he listened carefully as she spoke. It was reminiscing, mostly, something he couldn't really participate in, though he wasn't sure he would anyway. He let her be with her memories, though. There was a gap of silence before he realized she was done, one that was lengthened when he wasn't quite sure what to say. So, he just kept licking and cleaning and thinking. A few moments later, he paused. It's not something you have to figure out right away. You've got moons to sort out what you want, don't worry about rushing it. Eventually, there will just be a moment where it all falls into place and makes sense. Then you'll know what to do. With one more final lick, smoothing the fur into place, he shifted and stood up, glancing back towards his territory, ears flicking forward for a moment to listen. Then, a glance up at the sky and the sun, judging the time of day. He looked back down at her, pushing the throbbing in his shoulder away for later worry. We can't stay here, though. The morning patrol will be by soon, and it's close enough to the border they'll notice something. I can't explain away everything, I'm afraid. Still, he didn't rush her. It wasn't like he couldn't wander back to the border once he heard them coming, distract them long enough that she could slip away. That wasn't going to be the problem, it was just warning her. [/scrolly]

[Bast]

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[atrb=background,http://i54.tinypic.com/2qxq1kk.png] RAISING her head, Willowleaf's rounded ears flicked up as she intently listened, heart thumping. If a patrol caught them so close together, oh it would only mean trouble. Though it would probably mean more trouble for Dragonstar than herself, Willowleaf still wasn't out to cause anyone any problems. Pushing herself into a sitting position she rose to her feet and stretched. Arching her back in a luxurious, long stretch she tried to ignore the sting and burn as it pulled on her gashed foreleg. Once she was done she kept the paw from touching the forest floor an favored her weight onto her right side. The injury was far from the worst she'd ever recieved but that didn't stop it from stinging insistantly, intent on reminding her of its existance with each movement she made. Determined to ignore the pain, at least for now, Willowleaf turned her blue eyes to Dragonstar. "I'M sorry to be such a bother with all of this...I don't know what's been getting into me lately..." It was a lame explaination and she knew it but it was really all she had to offer. Butting her head against the tom's uninjured shoulder, Willowleaf rasped her tongue over his striped fur in a farewell. "I should go back to camp, I'll need to find a way to explain this to Thunderstrike anyway and I wouldn't want to get you into trouble." WHILE three legs, it would be a long trek back to LionClan's camp. Hopefully she could dodge the patrols and avoid any unwanted questions before she could think up a good story. If she told Thunderstrike, or Blackstar for that matter, that she'd been attacked by rogues, a patrol would be sent to investigate. They would find out that there were no rogues nearby and possibly follow her scent trail back to this spot. Then they would pick up Dragonstar's scent and that in itself would simply be a disaster. The accusations, rumors and gossip were the last thing Willowleaf needed right now. Her natural clumsiness wouldn't be a good excuse either. Clumsiness didn't form gashes that looked like fang marks, no one was that unlucky. No one sparred with her on a regular basis so that story was out...maybe she could simply convince Thunderstrike not to tell Blackstar? It was unlikely but it might be worth a shot if he didn't seem to buy any other story she wove. OH sometimes it was just a pain to be a poor liar! SHAKING her head and giving a little purr of amusement at herself, Willowleaf bobbed her head politely to Dragonstar and turned to leave. With a final tail wave, she began to hobble her way back into the dense forest foliage. She followed the path of destruction she had left in her race to find the fight, the easiest way back to familiar landmarks without getting all turned around in the endless sea of look-alike trees. How anyone navigated in such a crowded place, it simply floored Willowleaf. If she got lost here at night, she wouldn't even be able to see the stars! That, in her mind, was simply sad. There was no open space! NO, she would never be able to leave LionClan's open plains and join TigerClan in their crowded forest. It simply would never work. She'd hunger for starlight, sunlight, fresh flowing air and the dry heat of the savanna. There was too much green, too much water and far too many trees for Willowleaf's liking. A small smile came to her lips as Willowleaf realized her decision had been made for her, with Dragonstar's help of course. At least for right now, Willowleaf would be content in the openness that she'd been born into. Tagged;; Dragonstar Word Count;; 624 Background Song;; "One Step At a Time" by Jordin Sparks Notes;; -sigh-