{who can say where the road goes}open

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[atrb=background,http://i39.tinypic.com/2a8kx7q.jpg ] SUNLIGHT filtered through the canopy that stretched its arms over TigerClan's main camp, dappling the ground with tiny pools of gold. Stray breezes traipsed and tumbled through the sturdy trees, causing a ruckus in the trees on occasion but there was no one to hear, not really. It was a beautiful day, the sky open and the brightest blue it had been in a long while. Puffy white clouds occasionally breezed on by but didn't pause to rain on anyone' parade this day. The fair weather had most of TigerClan's warriors out and about in the territory doing their various tasks. Some had gone on border patrols, others on hunting patrols. Those gifted with apprentices had been badgered from their nests by overeager young ones and dragged out for an all day training session. JUST thinking of it drew a purr of amusement from Goldenlight as she laid in her own personal pool of sunshine near the fringe of camp. Behind her, a screen of ferns hid the little path that led back to her private clearing where a hollowed log served as a den for herself and her patients. Around her clearing she had long ago dug under the trees to make little hiding holes for herbs, a project started by her predecessor Cinderfall and finished not long after Goldenlight became TigerClan's medicine cat. That was back when she'd been young and strong, stunning with her exotic pale gold pelt and sharp blue eyes. THESE days, over one hundred moons later, she allowed herself peace in the quiet of a deserted camp. Her blue eyes had taken on a misty quality in her advancing age though they were as keen as they ever were. The gold of her pelt had faded, as though the sun had washed it out after so many days prowling the forest for herbs. Her stripes were barley any darker than the little pale gold that remained. The rest had faded to white, leaving her legs, belly and chest more or less white. Despite her advancing age, Goldenlight was as sturdy and healthy as she had ever been though now that she could only hear birdsong she had to admit sometimes the hustle and bustle of camp sometimes got to her. It was exhausting just to listen to the warriors griping about all of their duties and watching apprentices scamper hither and thither to do their mentor's bidding. QUITE frankly, Goldenlight couldn't help but be happy for her age. It gave her an excuse to stretch out in a pool of sunshine at noonhigh while others patrolled and hurried and worried. Now, that's not to say Goldenlight shirked her duties. That was simply preposterous. Since her last apprentice had chosen to go back to warrior life, Goldenlight had carried on by herself until she'd been given Flutterpaw as her apprentice not too many moons ago. She was a worrying little thing, always fretting and fearful but Goldenlight was a patient she-cat. Someday Flutterpaw would find her courage. At the moment, quite honestly, Goldenlight couldn't quite say what had become of her newest apprentice. Goldenlight had given her a day of rest when she'd woken to find the day dawning beautiful and bright. LAYING her heavy head across her outstretched paws, sprawled on her side with her body curving in a subtle C-shape, Goldenlight half hoped Flutterpaw had found some other apprentices to socialize with. She may not be a warrior apprentice but it would never due to have a medicine cat the clan did not know and trust. The cats Flutterpaw cared for in the future were her peers now and now would be the best time to become an ally to them, a companion, even though she fought with herbs instead of claws. IN her patch of sunlight, a gentle rumbling purr raspy with age but strong and deep nonetheless rose from the aging medicine cat. Misty blue eyes slid closed to hide behind her lids as she let the sun's warmth soak into her fading pelt. She may look haggard and old more often than not but Goldenlight was thankful for everyday in the sun, everyday that had with time faded her pelt to white. It was worth it. Every risk, every sleepless night, every struggle and confusing dream. Someday Flutterpaw would learn that. For now though, Goldenlight absorbed the peace and quiet, as though taking it in and radiating it out in the way she so often did when the clan got all in a fuss over something. She was still enough that if someone walked into the clearing, were it not for her contented purring, she most likely would never have been spotted, despite standing out so firmly from the deep green and brown of the trees. Tagged;; open Word Count;; 810 Background Song;; "Only Time" by Enya Notes;; --

[ACE! the cannibal]

It was a tedious task, being a medicine cat's apprentice. Constantly remembering and re-remembering. So much for headaches and stomach-aches and at least several remedies for fevers. All sorts of leaves that can cause healing powers but StarClan forbid she pick buttercups that caused stomaches... or was it ivy that caused terrible stomachaches? The little tiger bit her lip in worry, and nudged a few leaves, her tail twitching in worry.

Flutterpaw should probably relax a little, after all it was a beautiful day. The trees were whispering to whomever could listen, sunlight dappling the ground. TigerClan was out and about, taking advantage of such a wonderful day, hunting and training. She should be taking advantage, goodness knows that the next could rain and rain and rain, what would happen if TigerClan would flood? They would need so many herbs and food and- and she bit her lip harder, her paw retreating to her side, shaking in nervousness.

It didn't help that her stomach was growling like mad, threatening to eat her alive. She paced inside the medicine cat's den before she stuck her head, tenatively at first like a turtle coming out of it's shell. Her only companion these days was her lovely mentor Goldenlight and older brother Bigpaw. She really needed to socialize a little more but that little part of her brain that was her fear caused her to stray from anyone, even those within her own clan. Ducking back into the den, she circled the area before sticking her head out a little farther before retreating. She repeated this little ritual before she slunk out of the herb smelling den and scuttling across the earth to the fresh-kill pile, sniffing softly at what to eat.

One would immediately grab anything that looked delicious, but apart of Flutterpaw couldn't bring herself to eat anything, some small part of her brain telling her someone else in the clan needed it more than she. Her stomach growled, telling her to pick up the pace, but the darned voice kept on whispering, as she lowered her head, whiskers twitching as Flutterpaw tried to choose.

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[Bast]

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[atrb=background,http://i39.tinypic.com/2a8kx7q.jpg ] THROUGH the warm haze that had settled over Goldenlight's faded out form, the little part of her mind that was always awake nudged her. One didn't get to be Goldenlight's age without picking up a few extra senses. One of them, developed long ago when her apprentice had been a young tom named Coalpaw, Goldenlight had picked up what she dubbed the 'mentor sense'. She was almost certain all mentors had it. All good mentors, that was. It was that nagging in the back of your mind that your apprentice was up and about. It could mean several things depending on the sensation. They were up to no good, they were waiting on you, they needed you, things like that. Goldenlight had long since refined the sense and now she blinked her pale blue eyes open at the first tickling of it. ACROSS the sun dappled clearing, another tiger was up and about. It was Flitterpaw, Goldenlight's flighty young apprentice. She was peering down at the freshkill pile as though she had a tough decision to make, eyes flicking from one piece of prey to the next. A quiet rumble of a purr rose from Goldenlight at the sight. She would never quite understand Flutterpaw's fear of everything from daisies to enemy warriors but she could only hope that someday it would fade and Flutterpaw would find out how brave she could be. For now, however, Goldenlight was there to help her and help she would. Until StarClan called her to stand in their ranks, she would nudge her apprentice in the right direction as much as she could, however much Flutterpaw may squirm and fidget at the idea of someday being responsible for the entire clan on her own, plus teaching her own apprentice in the distant future. "FLUTTERPAW," Goldenlight called, her voice that grandmotherly tone that so many cats in the clan smiled at. How many of them had grown up with that voice chiding them to be more careful or to not stand on a strained paw for at least a day? Too many to count. "If you've got a moment, share a rabbit with me little one, you know I can never finish one myself." OF course, Goldenlight wasn't hungry in the slightest. She might nibble but she would more than likely let Flutterpaw eat the most of the rabbit, if her apprentice took her up on the offer. Flutterpaw was always so odd about eating. In the clan, it was always elders that were fed first and then leaders and medicine cats and queens, then warriors, then apprentices. Sometimes, especially when prey ran scarce, Goldenlight was no stranger to sacrificing her share to the queens and elders. She could remember a time many winters ago when she had nearly starved along with the rest of the clan, always giving what little prey there was to the leader or queens. These times however, were times of plenty. The weather practically sang with it. Even this close to camp, Goldenlight could smell and hear prey in the distance and practically feel the life flowing through the forest. There was no need for Flutterpaw to fret about food, and yet, she did. "PUT your mind to ease, little one, no one will sleep hungry tonight or any night soon," Goldenlight purred, stretching her large paws as she extended her old limbs to their full extent. IN her prime, she was a fine tigress, powerful and beautiful. Now she lounged freely in the sun, striped tail twitching occasionally before coming to lay across her back paws. Her muzzle, once deep gold, was gradually becoming more white with age as each moon rolled past. All around her though, there was an air of peace, of calm, of home. There was hardly a cat in the clan that remembered Cinderfall, Goldenlight's mentor. They remembered her, from the moment they began to explore their world. She was the one that pulled thorns from paws, soothed fevers, mended wounds and listened as hot-headed warriors ranted of the unfairness of it all. She watched them worry and fuss with calm blue eyes and moved through camp as though she had all the time in the world. A cross word never crossed her lips and every cat in the clan at one time or another found themselves pacing her clearing or sitting while she placidly sorted herbs, telling her tales or listening to hers. They came not from illness or injury but for the peace she offered, the clarity of mind. Goldenlight had always been somewhat aware of the effect she had on others but in recent moons, Flutterpaw had become the one she worried for and sought to soothe. SADLY, there was no balm for the hurts Flutterpaw felt. No herb to ease the racing of her mind or chase away the demons of her dreams. There was only Goldenlight. For the first time in a long time, after taking Flutterpaw under her wing, Goldenlight had to wonder if the hazy words of an old tigress would be enough. Tagged;; Flutterpaw Word Count;; 854 Background Song;; "Two Worlds" by Phil Collins Notes;; ^^

[ACE! the cannibal]

She was craving some meat. She was cat, feral and wild, but of course she was craving meat. But again, that fear and doubt had a way of shimmying into her thoughts, mostly around meal-time. What about maggots? What a horrible way to die, a medicine cat killed by crow-food? What a stupid way to die. It teased. She shushed and bit her bottom lip just a little harder with fangs, shoving down both the growling of her stomach and the whimpering from her inability to decide. Silly Flutterpaw She chided to herself, scolding her mental image. She should have just stayed inside the medicine cat's den, and sorted herbs. Waited for a fellow apprentice or a warrior to bring her meal.. Or was that too vain? To expect a warrior would know she had the nibbles and bring her something plump? She would eat herbs all day long, if not the the nagging doubt that the leader or deputy would need the herbs to satitate their hunger.

So consumed in her thoughts, she jumped when she heard the chattering voice from behind. Being used to the whispering willows anything remotely higher made her fur stand on end. She brightened, just a little, when it was the sweet as honey voice of her mentor. Goldenlight, truly a treasure to the clan. Old enough to be in StarClan, the aged tiger was more silver now than gold, with wisdom beyond any cat in TigerClan. She deserved a cunning apprentice that would make her swell with pride and when she passed on, if she ever did, would assure she had left TigerClan in good paws. But instead, she got poor useless bumbling, stumbling Flutterpaw who had an anxiety attac if there was a fur out of place.

Delicately grabbing a hare (after several minutes of speculaion of course) she made her way to Goldenlight, trying to keep her winding tail out from underneath her paws, making way to the warm beam of sunlight that Goldenlight so relaxed in. Laying the rabbit at her feet, she managed a half-hearted smile at the tigress, who swelled with both old age, wisdom and compassion. Flutterpaw, in the deep recessions of her mind, wanted to be like Goldenlight, calm in the heat of danger, a peaceful voice to all who would listen (and listen they would) a motherly figure to everyone. Unlikely for Flutterpaw, who was self-assured that even her stripes were crooked.

Hello Goldenlight.

[/color][/font] She murmered, curling a tail around shaky claws and paws, doing her best to compose herself. She adored the duties of being a medicine cat, waking up to a den of lavendar and honey and better than running around ragged to catch mice. She would have made a terrible warrior anyway. The idea of raising a claw to anyone or anything was frightening and horrifying. A pacisfist suited the young tiger's personality just fine. She opened her mouth slowly, cautiously as though the medicine cat in front of her could turned into a monster at any second. I sup-pose you are right. Bu-But I would feel b-buh-better if we did something-something productive.. N-not that layin-laying in the suh-sun isn't productive, I j-just want to learn something... that's all.[/color][/font] She squeeked, lowering her head in meager worry, unable to make eye contact with those blazing blue hues.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

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[atrb=background,http://i39.tinypic.com/2a8kx7q.jpg ] A warm purr of amusement rumbled from the mostly white tigress as her apprentice stumbled through her words. Always so worried, that was Flutterpaw, in a constant state of chaos. Someday she would learn, whether through StarClan's guiding light or some other means, that living in chaos was not the way of a medicine cat. It was the way of warriors out for blood, of the dark clans that haunted scary stories told by queens to make their kits behave. Serenity and calm was the way of a medicine cat, one Goldenlight had long grown used to. In fact, she couldn't even remember when real anger touched her and made her raise her voice. Medicine cats had to be the voice of reason, the source of calm for the clan when war gnawed at their borders and bloodthirst slithered into their hearts. It always did, in cycles, as the older she-cat had come to learn. It would abate for a while the way pain in joints does for elders when seasons grow warm and then it would attack again with vengeance at the first hint of cold. WITH time, Flutterpaw would learn the necessity for calm. She would find the source of it, StarClan, with time also. Experience right now was telling her to rush, rush, rush. Hurry to bundle the herbs, hurry to make the salves, hurry to gather the berries. In some ways, that did factor into medicine cat life but not always. The plants would not simply get up and run away if you took a moment to find peace. Sadly however, Flutterpaw was young and afraid of the world that was laid out before her. TAKING a bite from the hare that Flutterpaw had laid before her, Goldenlight contemplated her apprentice's twitching tail with mild amusement in her pale eyes. Swallowing her bite, Goldenlight moved one of her large sun-bleached paws to nudge the rabbit toward her ginger companion. "A thirst for knowledge is good," Goldenlight praised, swiping her pink tongue around her whiskers. "But it does not mean to obtain knowledge you must be constantly moving amid the fumes of so many herbs. It confuses the mind and makes to rush. In rushing, we make mistakes. I can learn plenty right here in this sunbeam." There was a twinkling in Goldenlight's pale orbs as she smiled at her apprentice, angling her head to one side to regard the younger tigress. "What do you think I can learn here, Flutterpaw? What can you learn?" IT was perhaps a bit unfair to ask such a thing of an inexperienced young she-cat but Goldenlight, well, in age she had learned that sometimes it was unnecessary to play fair. This would be a good learning experience for Flutterpaw, which is obviously what the younger cat was looking for. Medicine cats had many responsibilities in the clan. They were the voices of StarClan, the healers of injuries, the companion to a birthing queen, the confidant of the leader. So many things were on the shoulders of one, possibly two, cats. One of the most important things however, or so Goldenlight had found, was knowing the state of the clan. Without knowing that, you couldn't heal them properly, advise them correctly or comfort them wholly. You had to understand the state of mind of the clan, whether they be on the warpath or whether they are in times of peace or if they are grieving the loss of a clanmate. Medicine cats were removed from most clan laws, crossing borders and regularly consulting other medicine cats, but that did not mean they could hide in their dens all day long and be so removed from their clan that they didn't understand their clanmates anymore. BEING present and seen in the camp clearing was one of the primary ways a medicine cat kept up to date on the mental and emotional status of her clan. Flutterpaw would have to learn to sense the energies flowing through the camp. Was it calm? Was it happy? Was it sad? Was it thick with tension? It was also important to know which warriors generated these feelings and which ones fed off of them. Who started the scraps between warriors, who contested the leader's decisions, who followed the leader in these tensions? All of these were important things medicine cats had to keep an eye on. Being hidden away in the medicine cat clearing, it was dangerous. Even now, with camp empty, Goldenlight could learn plenty about the mental state of her clanmates and that knowledge was what told her it was alright to rest a while. Tagged;; Flutterpaw Word Count;; 781 Background Song;; "Merry-go-Round of Life" from Howl's Moving Castle Notes;; ^^

[ACE! the cannibal]

Flutterpaw would admit, the voice of Goldenlight was like tasting honey. Sweet, never sour. No wonder she was considered so knowledgable and gentle, soothe the savage beast. With sad eyes, Flutterpaw glanced at the nibbled rabbit, poked it before allowing herself to bite into it's stomach. The meat was warm and her stomach praised. She really wanted to devour the whole thing, but several worries, such as choking and the disappointment gaze of her mentor, made her eat slowly, digesting both the rabbit and the tigress' words.

Biting her lip, and looking at her paws, Flutterpaw started to think. She was an intelligent little tiger, whose eyes would brighten in a short-lived knowledge, never truly confident with herself. She knew, off by heart, the herbs that controlled hunger, thirst and fatigue and she knew just the right dosage of poppy seeds for a young apprentice. But when it came to anything else, she was a lost cause.

Ummmm. Uhmmm. Uhhhh.

[/font] She stumbled, trying to absorb her surroundings. What on earth was Goldenlight trying to get across? Oh gosh, was this some secret medicine cat test that she used to test candidates? What if she couldn't answer? Would she disappoint Goldenlight with the wrong answer?

Her mind was racing, a hummingbird in her heart as she turned from biting her lip to the inside of her cheek. Was she looking for a sign? Was this a test, was StarClan in on this situation as well? She was worrying, her eyes switching one point of the camp to another, so frantic, it was like her eyes were to pop out of her head. Finally she let out a slight sigh-scream of frustation and buried her head into her paws.

I-I don't know Goldenlight. I- am so-so sorry.[/color][/font] Stupid Flutterpaw! She wasn't cut out to be a medicine cat or a warrior! She wasn't even sure she was cut out to be a tiger. She would be better off as a flea.. or a worm. A measly little worm.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

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[atrb=background,http://i39.tinypic.com/2a8kx7q.jpg ] Through calm, half closed blue eyes, Goldenlight watched as her young apprentice tried to focus and find what her mentor desired. A small smile, almost invisible on her faded out face, tugged at the corners of the medicine cat's lips. Poor Flutterpaw. She was such a hard worker, wholeheartedly devoted to the things she properly understand. Introducing new concepts however was where Goldenlight often skidded with her shy apprentice. Flutterpaw would become flustered and stammer apologizes until late into the night. She had a low opinion of herself, one Goldenlight often thought quite silly. Flutterpaw was quite a bright student and as stated before, devoted to her work. The problems only started when she let herself get flustered and was frustrated when she didn't have the right answer right away. The younger tigress would think she could never do it, could never understand, would never be good enough. That simply wasn't true. EVERY medicine cat had their periods of insecurity. They had fought the same battle, in a way. They had to struggle to remember herbs and their combinations, what each herb looked like and where it could be found. They had to remember proper conduct around the clan and between medicine cats and all the meditations that were supposed to help them keep calm but only served to scatter them further. Goldenlight had been thrown quite quickly into this phase of panic and indecision and then forced, just as quickly, to leave it behind. In her younger days, an epidemic of greencough and whitecough the likes of which she had not seen since had swept the clan. Their number of warriors had been cut in half in only a single leafbare and Goldenlight's own mentor had fallen ill. Cinderfall had fought the illness valiantly until StarClan finally called him to peace, leaving Goldenlight, at the time Goldenpaw, to try and stand up to be the medicine cat the clan needed. In a way, when she'd finally gone to StarClan a month after her mentor's passing for her true name, she had returned as the sign they needed. Goldenlight. The leader at the time had purred in amusement and assured the clan their pains were over, StarClan had lit their way to safety again. At the time, Goldenlight had blushed and stammered but with time had grown into the role Brightstar had predicted for her. IN time, Flutterpaw would find her peace and her confidence. One way or another. "PEACE, Flutterpaw," Goldenlight purred to appease her stammering charge. "What I was asking was perhaps unfair, it takes many moons to learn, many seasons. You, as a medicine cat, must be able to tell how the clan as a whole is feeling. Is there tension in the air? Is there peace or perhaps grief? These things, we can not learn them from herbs and berries. StarClan will not often spell it out for us so we must learn to feel it ourselves." Stretching with a sigh, the pale tigress laid her head against the warm sun-baked ground. "You must be among the clan, in all their emotions, all their petty squabbles, all their sorrows and all their times of peace. Then you will know how to feel it." GOLDENLIGHT closed her eyes for a few moments and simply let herself rest and breathe. The air was sweet with the season, heavy with the scent of things growing, green and whole and healthy. Peace. Calm. She let Flutterpaw chew on her words before prying her pale eyes open after several minutes of quiet. "WHEN you feel those black, cloying emotions of sorrow and pain and anger, you must be able to chase it away or soothe it in a way herbs can never manage. You must be their anchor of calm, an island of peace where they can shed their pains and find rest. It is a medicine cat's greatest responsibility." GETTING her large paws under her, Goldenlight stood and gave herself a little shake. Parting her jaws and letting a yawn escape, Goldenlight flicked her tail at Flutterpaw's nose and smiled in her motherly way before ambling toward the medicine cat den. She passed through the screen of ferns and followed the little path back ti her nice quiet clearing. The heart of it was flooded with warm sunlight, the hollowed log where her patients slept was empty, thankfully. The trees around had hollows dug out under them so that she could store herbs there, though essential basics were kept in the log close to her patients. She didn't know if Flutterpaw was going to follow or try again to get a sense for what Goldenlight had described but it didn't really matter either way. TO pass the time however, Goldenlight settled herself to sorting the herbs Flutterpaw had abandoned when she went in search of something to eat. She was quick and efficient though many in the clan would think a cat her age would be slow about everything. She was slow when she could be, quick and to the point when it was called for. Over the years, Goldenlight had come to find the scent of herbs quite soothing, not pungent like most warriors. Sorting them lulled her into a rhythmic pattern, easy and comfortable, like an old friend. Tagged;; Flutterpaw Word Count;; 891 Background Song;; "Regroovable" by Chris Botti Notes;; ^^