Post by darkwatcher on Jan 11, 2012 21:37:45 GMT -5
Tearstar sat under a tree, thinking. That was most of what he did nowadays, thinking. And that thought got him started on more thinking, reflecting on the idea that he did so much more of it than he ever had as a young warrior. When you're a warrior it's easy. You do what the leader, deputy and medicine cat tell you to do, and you're fine. In fact, you will be praised for loyalty. It's not hard to be a good warrior, contrary to popular belief. All you need to do is work hard, avoid breaking major rules, and obey every command that you get without question. That had been what Tearstar had done when he was young.
Now, though, the leader of CheetahClan couldn't just be good and keep his head down. He was leader, and as leader he needed to call the shots. Make the rules. He was the one who gave the orders. Sometimes Tearstar felt proud of that, proud that he'd gotten so far. "Mother and Father would be happy," he murmured. His mother had died shortly after Whispergrass had disappeared, and his father Paledash had succumbed to greencough soon after Tearstripe had been made deputy. Yes, they'd be proud. They'd be happy, they'd celebrate. Who would have thought that plain, boring, ordinary Tearkit would have made it all the way to be leader of his Clan? It was amazing.
Then Tearstar thought back to the horrible scene; it still gave him nightmares. Two leopard corpses, horribly mutilated, lying side by side. A young cheetah standing next to them, a grin across his handsome face. And he asked himself, Is this really worth it? The same question he'd asked since after the fateful day when it had happened, as soon as he woke up. Is it worth it?
He was always afraid he'd answer no.
Now, though, the leader of CheetahClan couldn't just be good and keep his head down. He was leader, and as leader he needed to call the shots. Make the rules. He was the one who gave the orders. Sometimes Tearstar felt proud of that, proud that he'd gotten so far. "Mother and Father would be happy," he murmured. His mother had died shortly after Whispergrass had disappeared, and his father Paledash had succumbed to greencough soon after Tearstripe had been made deputy. Yes, they'd be proud. They'd be happy, they'd celebrate. Who would have thought that plain, boring, ordinary Tearkit would have made it all the way to be leader of his Clan? It was amazing.
Then Tearstar thought back to the horrible scene; it still gave him nightmares. Two leopard corpses, horribly mutilated, lying side by side. A young cheetah standing next to them, a grin across his handsome face. And he asked himself, Is this really worth it? The same question he'd asked since after the fateful day when it had happened, as soon as he woke up. Is it worth it?
He was always afraid he'd answer no.
