//Screamin' In the Night\\

[flame]

Spiritclaw
DANCES... SOMETHING I DON'T JOIN IN

NAME... Spirit Claw
AGE... 39 Moons
GENDER... Male
CLAN... Cheetah Clan
POSITION... Warrior
SPECIES... Cheetah

APPEARANCE...

Spiritclaw is a long lithe male cheetah. Nothing all that special about him. He’s just who he is. Long tail, long legs, long body, 'tear's' he's got them all. He no special beauty, nor is he any ugly beast, he just is. He's a tan and black color, with dark spots. Again nothing special. All that can really be said about him is his speed. He’s among the fastest of cheetahs and just doesn’t get slower. Powerful haunches show this, and he’s built for pure speed.

PERSONALITY...

Brave, Loyal, Caring, smart. All traits in a good warrior. He'll help a friend in a pinch, and he's loyal even if you screw him over. Ok so not as smart as you'd think, but he's got the experience to back it up. He's a bit wise, and a bit silly. Playful, but he's serious to. When on the job he expects obedience right away no questions asked. You do as he says NOW or pay the price. He's not afraid of much and even seems to enjoy fighting, but he doesn't believe in the needless waste of life. IN a way he holds all life sacred, and though he fights and fights well, he does the least damage, or at least makes it hurt like hell, but it won't be lasting. A scar maybe, but not life threatening. He's got a big heart that hides behind a usually gruff exterior

HISTORY...

He had a normal life. Born in a small litter of two he was the larger, and always got things first. He and his sister had been born in the Cheetah clan, but his family were more aloof of the rest of the clan, keeping to themselves unless they were needed. He didn’t gain that trait, being friendly and all, but it still was there. He grew strong fast, and was soon racing around like any good kit. He outpaced his sister and yet he kept returning to the sickly cheetah. She had always been small, and he kept trying to make her better. He’d sit by her when she wasn’t feeling well, and would make her eat first. He never understood what was happening to her. He was the only one around when she died, and that left a mark. He turned from playful all the time to serious. He followed his parent’s path and became a warrior. He even fathered a kitting, though he lost track of them when the mother left with them, going rogue. That along with the loss of his sister hurt him the most. But he kept going, he had to. There was no point in stopping. Now it's been moons and the pain has lessened, and he's quite ready to take on what the world wants to throw at him.

[crush]

Pending
Spelling mistakes in appearance (lyth is lithe, cheetah missing an "h"...). Also, spellcheck and grammar check personality. There's a few little things in there.

In the history - I think a bit more detail would be great. You get the idea that cared for his sister, yes, but there's no detail there. No little anecdotes, or anything that makes his history seem personal, it's all sort of at arm's length. On a second note, unless he's a loner now or wasn't part of a true clan, he can't really have left his clan... Although other species are allowed rarely into the clans, or a cheetah into lionclan and so on, it isn't often and it isn't likely that he would have been born in one of those clans. So, please specify if it was just a group of cheetahs and then he ended up joining cheetahclan or not - if that's the case, you might want to let us know how that happened. Clans aren't so bad about taking in kits, but full grown cats they are much more wary about, and for good reason - it's a stranger after all. If this isn't the case, how could he have left the clan yet still be a part of it? If he left, he's a loner or a rogue.

[flame]

I did the gramar check (will be doing that more), and fixed everything else.

[crush]

Accepted
Welcome to Something Beautiful! Please, do not forget to post in the taken names list to avoid repeated names!